I Am Not 'Your' Sorority Woman

It's disheartening when I inform someone that I am in a sorority, and I receive the judgmental smile, which is usually followed by a laugh and some joke about how bad my GPA is, or an inquiry of how hungover I am from the last party.

I am asked if I only like men in polos and khakis.

If it's not monogrammed, I don't care for it, and my entire closet is Lilly Pulitzer.

I paid for my friends, and the 'sisterhood bond' that I have is nothing but a facade in order to isolate myself and my sisters from anyone who isn't a part of my sorority.

And last but not least, I am dumb.

Believe me, I wish I was making all of this up, but in truth, I have had these assumptions made about me just because I am a member of the Greek organization.

No, I don't only like men in polos and khakis. I like men who are respectful. Whose humor makes me smile on the darkest of days. Who are passionate about their future, and treat women like true ladies. I am not materialistic, and honestly could care less what a guy wears.

I mean, come on ladies, what is the difference in Ryan Gosling in a suit, and Ryan Gosling in a t-shirt? Nothing! He's still the guy you want Santa to deliver wrapped in a red bow beside your Christmas tree on Christmas day.

I do love monograms, but I also love anchors, snowflakes, and kittens. No, everything I own is not monogrammed, and my closet lacks anything Lilly Pulitzer. You will find me happily strolling across campus in leggings and an oversized sweater bought from Goodwill, because six of the seven days of the week, I am so broke, I rely on the Campus cafeteria for meals. Moreover, I'd rather be comfortable than stylish while walking up and down the treacherous hills of campus while going to class.

I didn't pay for my sisters. How can you pay for friendship? The answer is you can't. Love isn't bought. Love is shared. It is a mutual affection for each other. And more importantly, being a part of a sisterhood is about getting to know and love women who believe in the same ideals and principles as you.

We are not all alike, and that is the beauty of it. In different ways, we better each other. That's what being a part of a sisterhood is- wanting to love and better each other - wanting to be a true sister to someone.

Last, but not least, I am not dumb. I am not gonna lie, there are some days that I feel like finishing college sounds as appealing as cutting off my pinky finger. There are multiple times I feel like I am not smart enough, and there's no way I'm going to have a future.

Nevertheless, I am a sophomore, almost half-way through college.
I have a 3.1 GPA. Nothing to brag about, but I always finish my assignments on time and am striving to work harder and do better.
And I do have a future. I believe in my heart I am going to be successful, should I apply myself.

So for anyone out there who believes the real sorority woman is materialistic, conceited, spiteful, or unintelligent.

I am here to tell you that you are wrong.

She is the woman you see playing Intramural flag football, catching a pass from her teammate and sprinting down the field.

She is the woman you see at 2 am in the library sitting quietly in the corner, with her headphones in, staring intently at her Chemistry book.

She is the woman you see out on the walkway- selling baked goods and asking for donations in order to support her philanthropy, an organization she holds dear to her heart.

She is the woman who gets so overexcited every time she sees her 'Little', because as an only child, she never had a real little sister before she joined a sorority.

The real sorority woman is your average woman- complete with flaws, embarrassing stories, and aspirations for her future.

She is not 'your' definition of a sorority woman.
She is just a woman striving to be better than she used to be.

-Mollie Abell is a sophomore at the University of Tennessee, as well as a member of Delta Gamma. 
*She can be contacted at mjw739@utk.edu